The Labor of Love, Part Two

Getting packed for going camping can feel like a huge ordeal. 

For many years, my gear was stored in various places throughout the garage and house.  After the second Cub Scout Camp out over a decade ago, I started a big clear plastic tub.  All forms of miscellaneous items are stored in this box.  Lighters, cocoa, spoons, spatulas, toilet paper, salt, pepper, trash bags, oven mits, coffee in tea bag form, cheap ponchos, bug spray, sun screen, etc.  The plastic tub is stored in my mud room right next to my tent, sleeping bag, and sleeping pad. 

Work was kinda ridiculous on Friday.  I am not usually an obstinate muttering bitch, but I was on Friday. The energy was tense in the office.  My manager, who is our top performing sales person was trying to wrap up all of her loose ends so she could finally take a week off from work.  She was trying to manage the chaos that happens when we try to take time off. 

I was complaining about our internal inventory paperwork bureaucracy and lamenting on how nice it would be one day when I could select the items I want, enter the dates I need them and boom, get a receipt and have my order placed.  How cool would that be?  I buy things quite often online and it is kinda freakin seamless in 2017.  Our internal system is not.  There are email request to multiple people to make certain it isn't already checked out.  Then there is a form to be completed and emailed (and both the form and the sent email are printed for our file because sometimes we are told the form wasn't sent). Then there should be a follow up email to verify that someone of three people who you sent it to received it and have pulled it out of inventory for your event. There is even a printed form list that you can use to check off and verify you have completed each of the required and necessary forms and processes.

In our explosive growth this past year, you sometimes need to pick up the phone to verify things haven't been sold out from under you.  There are two offices and a ton of sales people all using the same inventory items.  This additional step is one I forget, and have been burned for not doing. 

Then you have to schedule a pick up from our Denver office by our Colorado Springs crew.

It is just a lot of little steps that can really bite you in the ass if you forget a single one of them.  And the day before or on the day of an event is not the time to realize a portion or all of your requested items did not make it down for your event. 

In the middle of my venting rant which took place in the 10 feet from my desk to the printer where I was picking up one of my mimeographed copies to document step one of the 12 step process, I was told that I also need to verify that they "understand" what items I am requesting to rent.  WTF?  I think that was my undoing that afternoon.  If I look up the item in their inventory system and it has a "NAME", then when I use that same "item name" in my request it should be easily understood what fucking item I am asking for, right?  My manager seemed to get hung up on my exasperation that I should have to copy and paste the item image onto a separate form where I have clearly referenced the exact name of the damn item from their own database. 

I muttered that I was "just venting".  Which most days means sorry, lets pretend I was using the voice in my head that only hear.  Seems, venting is not allowed on the last Friday of each month.  I was going to ask to see a printed copy of the memo went out explaining what days I could vent and what days I couldn't but I decided not to because there was a chance that the email actually existed and I was in fact violating a company policy.

She must have seen the snarky thought roll across my face because I normally concede,shut up and return to my desk and breathe loudly.  But I didn't return to my desk.  I stood there.  Then it was explained to me that this is why I get commission.  I kinda didn't react well to that load of bullshit. 

Commission is for the 171 phone calls and 352 emails to and from the client to complete a sale.  Commission is for smiling, finding your pleasant voice and holding the sweaty hands of your clients until they can clearly see your vision and pay in full. Commission is paid to those who have the patience and personality to give excellent customer service, every day and to manage the unpleasant phone calls when things go very, very bad.  Commission is for closing the sale.

Anyway, I don't usually raise my voice at work, but my manager does. I obviously had a little volume that needed to explode so I watched myself as I got louder and louder to match each octave she raised her voice.   My argument was that I have a valid complaint about our antiquated internal bureaucratic Dewey Decimal style 1980's inventory rental system. Then I got the guilt trip about how busy all of the people who make my world run are and how I just don't understand.  I get that they are busy, our system still sucks. 

Normally I shut up, but I just couldn't.  This little voice raising, guilt trip, commission explanation went on for a bit longer.  I have a valid rant.         News Flash: Melissa, no body gives a shit.

The conversation ended. 

In my head it was the scene from the movie Office Space, where Milton is told to move his desk again and then his boss takes his red stapler. Not that I was muttering about burning the building down, but I was muttering for sure!

My manager will be back soon and I can tell I am already itching for her to come out of her office and vent.  She does this often.  Hell we all do.  Which is why I was so irritated that my moment of venting was deemed a personal affront to our hard working, busy employees by my lazy elitist ass instead of just a moment of blowing off some steam.

When she starts complaining, I can't wait to remind her "that is why we get commission, so suck it up buttercup!"

I probably won't say it out loud, but knowing me, it will be broadcast in my smirk and the crinkling of my eyes. 

My manager knows that we had a weird exchange between us that day and will easily read it on my face next time she comes to me to "vent" about a client that is requiring more than the usual hand holding or when her requested inventory items are sold out from under her or don't arrive because she didn't complete the 12 step carbon copy process to thoroughly complete her order.

Needless to say, I was ready to leave work at the end of my shift. I came home and was very pleased with my camping gear prep and threw it all in my car and began my journey up the mountain towards a much needed camping weekend!