My Angel card for this morning is Opportunity to Forgive.
I have received this card very often over the last six months.
The Angels sent you this card because they see that you've grown weary of a recurring negative pattern in your life. To break this cycle, it's important for you to release old toxic thoughts about the current situation and relationship.
Avoid blaming yourself or others. As you release anger, a creative solution will appear. There are hidden blessings in this relationship and situation.
I have grown very weary of this negative cycle I have been in. I have grown very weary of asking myself, how did this happen again. How did I end up back at square one, no better off than the last time I did this loop?
It is like the scene in Rugrats, where Tommy is using his compass and guiding the entire crew in circles. A.) Either I don't know how to read my compass or B.) it is broken or C.) more likely, I just haven't pulled it out in so long to check my course.
I am going to go with option "C" and I am almost to the scene where the horde of monkeys enter and take everything.
The cycle I keep repeating is not stopping long enough to gauge where the fuck I am in comparison to where I want to be. I initially figure out my path and my destination and repeatedly find the courage to take that first damn step. It scares the hell out of me and I procrastinate big time, but I take the step. Then a few steps down my path, I get sidetracked by someone or something and I keep moving forward, blindly not paying attention to the fact that I am now on someone else's path. I have been on someone else's path for two years now. Crazy how time flies before I notice my unhappiness.
While I am a big believer of creating a written plan, I haven't actually taken the time to write down what I want from myself and my life.
I have read and posted several really great ideas that I have found on Facebook from people who I follow about picking a word, one word to be my focus for 2015 and for creating lists. Create a list of things & people I do not want to take into 2015 with me and then create a list of things & people I want to keep with me in 2015.
Guess it is time to sit the hell down, with pad and pen and actually think through & commit in writing to what I truly want.