I miss you very much. It has been seven years since you went to heaven.
The Golden Retriever rescue had promised me a 3 to 5 year old female golden 30 to 50 pounds and instead handed me a 10 year old 90 pound male golden. I fell in love with the beautiful white whiskers on your sweet orange face. I was terribly nervous to take you home as I had no experience with a dog your size.
I think you fell in love with me too, as you rarely left my side. I loved that you kept my feet warm no matter where I sat. I loved sitting with you next to me on my outside sofa swing while we watched the kids run & play.
I thank you for dying quickly as I have no idea how I would have made it through weeks or months of you being sick, but it was so quick that I didn't really get to mentally prepare for your large presence being gone from life.
The house finally sold, even with your vomit stains on the living room carpet, down the hallway, and in Liam's room. We moved and then 2 years later I had to leave my marriage & my home.
I ended up with your portable ramp you used to get in & out of my van. It lived with me at my girlfriends home when she let the kids and I crash in her basement for 15 months after the divorce and then it moved to the west side with us into our own first home. It has been in the basement where I walk by it when ever I do laundry for 28 months.
I have taken boxes & bags of stuff we no longer need to Goodwill for the past two years & have not ever thought "I sure don't need that ramp any more" until yesterday.
I am so sad that you lost your ability to walk after making it down the deck stairs to the back yard which was basement level. I am sorry if we bumped you around trying to haul you in through the basement doors to get you into the house for the night. I am sorry you spent your last night on this earth all by yourself. I know you liked to bed hop between the kids room, all night long.
I am so glad that you gained the strength to climb the steps up from the basement to the ground level of the house the next morning. I had no idea how I was going to get you up those stairs to get you in my van to take you to the doctor. You were the sweetest angel!
I am going to give your ramp to a friend who goes to other states to rescue puppy mill dogs and helps them find forever homes.
I miss you very much gentle Lucas!