Starting early this spring, I decided I needed a daily spiritual practice to start & set my day. I bought a journal and the books of authors I had begun listening to on you tube, and decided that every morning I would read the daily meditation from Holy Shift by Robert Holden, PH.D., then randomly flip to a page in Miracles Now by Gabrielle Bernstein, then do some Emotional Freedom Techniques or EFT, then meditate for 20 minutes, say my forgiveness prayer, imagine my ex husband surrounded by beautiful white light, say my gratitude prayer, and do some yoga.
As you can imagine, I could not seem to find 2 hours every morning to get all of this spiritual work done. I am still playing with the "how to" part. I take my journal with me which has my prayers written in it. I can say these at lunch, quietly at my desk.
I was using my daily commute time to do my tapping videos and audios, but my vehicle recently died driving through the desert to Las Vegas. So no peaceful, alone time for me right now. I am hopeful that I will have a vehicle again very soon & can resume this very important me time.
I have become a little, ok, a great deal stuck in my anger with my ex husband. This comes and goes. I work hard on forgiving him & visualizing great peace & prosperity for him and then he does something that takes me into the whole anger cycle again & it takes me a week or so to Let It Go. Currently I am not visualizing loving white light surrounding him. When he pops into my head right now, I see red so I am trying to immediately release a long hard breath and think of apple pie. I really like apple pie. I can smell it when I think of it and then poof he is out of my head for a minute. I am learning little tricks that allow me to transition quickly from anger to peace.
Forgiveness is the mainstay of my daily practice. Forgiveness of those who I carry pain with and forgiveness of myself & my choices. Then their is yoga, yoga & running got me through my very extreme 3 year divorce. I have not done either for two years & my sanity is threadbare because I have put my self care so low on the daily list of things that must get done. For me, 2014 is my year to get my daily spiritual practice set so that I am ready to hit the ground running for 2015.
I have 65% of my practice in place. I have 5 months to add the physical self care into the mix. I have 35 pounds of sad, whiney, beaten, broken, protection, fear, guilt & shame that needs to be released. 2014 is my Let It Go year. Sorry if you now have that damn Frozen song in your head too!!! ;)
Day 1, July 12, 2014 My big worry today is finding a vehicle. Divorce & my ex have destroyed my credit. I will rebuild, but I need a car now. Very humbling to have always had my bank send me a blank check to purchase with & now I will be taking who ever & whatever will take a risk on loaning to me.
Wish you could hear my exhale, while I attempt to let go of the shame & fear! If you hear on the news that hurricane force winds are being experienced in Colorado, there is a great chance it is just me exhaling or hyper ventilating!
However the day goes, I am truly blessed with friends & family that nourish my soul! My evening self care is a generous glass of wine & a very hot bath. The beginning and end of my day are good, it is the whole middle part I fumble through.