The news last night was very scary. Even my chocolate was telling me to Take a Deep Breath!
Years ago I stopped watching the news before bed so that I didn't have to fill my head with the pain and suffering in the world before I tried to close my eyes. I forget that people share "news" on Facebook.
I am sad for the family that lost their son.
I am sad for the officer who has killed someone's son.
I am sad for the community that is hurting and suffering so deeply.
I am sad for the business owners who have lost their places of business, their inventory, their safety & security and their livelihood.
I am sad for the employees who have lost their jobs due to their employer's being burned down.
I am holding love in my heart for everyone that is hurting.
I flipped open Miracles Now by Gabrielle Bernstein this morning and it opened to #31 Be A Lighthouse. This chapter was written after children died in Sandy Hook, CT. Gabrielle was in a class with others on meditation and her teacher told them "You must not be the victim, you must be the lighthouse." To feel the emotions of sadness and grief, but to not dwell there. Instead to fill their hearts with love and to pray.
That is what I am doing today, filling my heart with love and sending out prayers of peace. I don't have to understand what each person is feeling that has lead to the violence. Truly, I don't have to. I am not being asked to justify what is going on. I am being asked to send energy of love and peace to that town.
I pray for the violence to end.
After my joking that I needed to get a Ouija Board to help my Angels be a bit clearer, I flipped to Miracle Message #57 I Surrender All from the book Miracles Now by Gabrielle Bernstein.
Then my Angels gave me the Trustworthy Guidance Angel Oracle Card.
I know I am on the correct path with my writing because I can feel the joy, however I have been at a fork in the road for a while now regarding how I currently earn my living. I am not sure if I am supposed to stay where I am and just keep working hard, head down, muscling through each day and pushing the success boulder up the damn mountain or if I am supposed to go down the path of getting an employee job doing similar work.
I have worked so hard here that I do not want to give up too soon, however I am burnt out and exhausted with the amount of work required to keep this machine working.
I am going to steal some quiet time today to meditate and listen some more for guidance. I am also go to spend some time listing off all of the things I need to surrender.
I will add my own specifics to the end of the prayer so I can get it all out of my head and focus on my day, but the only surrender prayer I know is the Serenity Prayer. This prayer is how I will start my day.
More and more, I am noticing how complicated my life gets because I don't seem to choose the easy path. I choose a mission, something or someone to fix. My phone is currently buzzing and flashing at me and the following is scrolling across her screen, "I told you so!" She is such a bitch!
In case you missed my earlier post with my phones nagging words of wisdom, you follow this link to the post from September http://www.strongstartingnow.com/blog/i-phone-gps
I have used Angel Cards, prayer, my opinionated I-Phone and mediation and I do not feel I am any clearer on what is the next best step for me! What do normal people do to make such huge decisions?