BY ROBERT FROST
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
I have been very emotionally & mentally bogged down for the past few weeks. I have only wanted to escape reality, hide and attempt to sleep.
I got on the dreadmill this weekend and just like last time, felt a small tear in my chest where light shone out. It always feel this way when I get time alone in my head. No agenda, just me and my thoughts. I got on the treadmill again tonight and within minutes, my mind was free, my soul was shining. I was listening to the music and feeling the connections to those songs. My connections. My mind day dreaming. My energy was bright and high.
For the past few weeks, writing has eluded me. Mostly because I have eluded myself. Stay busy and not allowing myself to get quiet. There is just too much going on in my life. Getting quiet has been very scary lately because change is coming and I am not certain how I feel about it. It feels like big change, bigger than I feel prepared for.
I am not sure I am ready to feel what I am feeling. I am not sure I am ready to share what I am feeling. It just doesn't feel entirely safe to say or feel what is churning inside me. It feels like a huge funnel cloud is trying to escape my body. I need more quiet time to see what is going to drop out of the damn cloud and to see the extent of the damage left behind.
The last time a tornado ripped through my life, I left the comfort of my 16 year marriage, my huge home on 5 acres and my occupation as a home schooling mom. Needless to say, I am scared. I am nervously excited to get a glimpse of what is coming. I am also terrified to see what will be required of me next. But I can't deny I hear something calling to me.
Each time I start feeling the need to hide or give up, I need to put on my shoes and walk. I need to keep walking until I figure it all out. I need more time in my head, alone and quiet.
I need more time in the dark, lovely woods.
"But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep."