I don't feel good. I feel exhausted. I can't believe my weekend is almost over. It wasn't enough time. I did get most of my to-do list done, but my soul list did not get done. I don't feel relaxed or ready to tackle the oncoming week. I didn't get any exercise or mediation done, none at all. As always, I keep so busy there is no quiet.
How does this happen week after week, after week.
Is it the impending holidays that are making me feel frantic? There is so much to do and so little child free time to get it all done. It's less than two weeks until I put my Christmas Tree up.
Do I have unrealistic expectations on how many hours there really are in a weekend? Why am I already starting to worry about how this week will go?
Because I am not being present. My number one goal this week is to take 30 minutes each morning and meditate. Just 30 minutes.
It is day 14 of the 21 day mediation and I have only listened to day 1. I haven't written anything in days because my head is too full of anxiety about the future.
I need a relaxation/be present recovery program to check into. It is too easy to slip and have just that one small drink, and then wake up two weeks from now uncertain what has happened. I keep losing months to being busy.
I need to stop borrowing trouble from tomorrow. I need to stop carrying guilt and fear. I need forced quiet time, so I can hear only my voice and my inner voice. I need to only focus on my life. I need to unplug and unwind and breathe. I need to get quiet, get still and listen.
Can I call a grown up time out? Can I get a nice intervention at a quiet little bungalow with a hot tub and room service? I am thinking it would need to have zero cell service or I would fill that time with more nonsense and busyness.
I have another child free weekend in two weeks. I need to make a plan to unplug, unload, unwind and just listen. Crap that is the weekend after Thanksgiving, which is no time to relax, right?!
Melissa's 12 Step Plan to Not Being Busy:
1. 8 Hours sleep each night.
2. Eat healthy real foods, small amounts of quality.
3. Meditate 30 minutes a day.
4. EFT tapping~I still have the tapping meditations from the 2014 World Summit
5. Journaling & writing & creating
6. Sleep routine, bath, aromatherapy, Epsom salts.
7. No caffeine after 9 am. Hot lemon water to unwind.
8. Walking 30 minutes a day, building up to jogging again.
9. Physical touch
10. Electronics off after 7 p.m. No weighty conversations either.
12. Pray, affirmations, talk to my Angels & God.
That still sounds pretty busy. Might need to just lay on the floor, wrapped up in a blanket and be quiet for a full 72 hours. Maybe the intervention is needed before I start the 12 steps?!?
As for tonight, I will do my best to relax and sleep. It will probably be pill induced for tonight.